


Deck the Halls (or at least try to)

by kaientai



Series: christmas is merrier with you [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaientai/pseuds/kaientai
Summary: Decorating has never been their forte.





	Deck the Halls (or at least try to)

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't know (like i did), "deck the halls" actually means to put up decorations for Christmas.

It's Christmas day and the Edo Greater Hospital is bustling, as always. The holidays aren't enough reason for its employees to halt its services, after all. But in room 305 on the third floor, two unlikely individuals are working hard to tend to the flames of Christmas spirit.

"Sakata."

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Hah? Can't you see I'm fixing the Christmas tree?"

Hijikata doesn't remember agreeing on a Christmas tree with Gintoki when they were planning this whole thing. He whips his head to the side and—

"That's not a Christmas tree, that's Kondo-san!"

The chief is as naked as the day he was born, arms spread like that Jesus statue in Brazil. Garlands coil around his neck and wrists, and a dirty santa hat is sitting atop his head. A blank look paints itself on his face, as if he's been brainwashed to think he was actually a Christmas decoration. Hijikata gapes, horrified when Gintoki sticks a mistletoe to Kondo's testicles.

"Really? I got this gorilla tree half-off at the mall.

"That's obviously not a gorilla tree, that's a human being!"

"Well, you know how the song goes: deck the balls."

"It's deck the _halls_."

"I do my job, you do yours, Hijikata-kun. Just mind your own business and keep on sticking those lights." 

Resigning himself to the fact that there's no changing a stubborn idiot's mind, Hijikata staples the Christmas lights in his hands to the wall. But five minutes into his work, Gintoki speaks up once more."

"That's too high. Go lower."

"The last time I went lower, you told me to go higher."

"Yeah, but you went _too_ high, Hijikata-kun. Even Pachi-boy can put up these lights better than you."

Irritably, Hijikata takes out the mounted staple wires and aligns the row of lights a tad bit lower from his last placement. The staple gun booms in his ears; he wonders how the hell you're sleeping through all this commotion.

From his vantage point on top of the small stepladder he borrowed from the hospital staff, he can clearly gaze at your peaceful form dozing in a comfy looking bed. Yesterday, you unexpectedly wound up in the hospital after falling off the roof of the Yorozuya because you were also putting up these abominations called Christmas lights. Your injuries weren't too fatal, but they did require further observation. Thus, you were subjected to two nights in this cramped room. And those two days happen to fall on Christmas eve and Christmas day.

 

("Why did you even make her do all the decorating?" yelled Hijikata when that dead-eyed Gintoki walked inside the room. "Also, why did you decide to put up decorations on _Christmas eve?_ "

Flicking whatever vile substance he managed to scrape in the deepest crevices of his nostril, Gintoki returned his urgency with a yawn. "The woman wanted to decorate. I let her."

"And you let her fall to her death, too?" Hijikata was seething at this point. He knew he should have persuaded you to live in the Shinsengumi compound instead, where dozens of men would willingly put up the goddamn Christmas lights in your stead. This three-way thing was already complicated to begin with, but he still couldn't see why you chose living with a good-for-nothing man instead of someone as responsible as him.

"Oi, oi. Let's not be hasty, Hijikata-kun. Can't you see that our lady is still alive and well? Don't jinx her death just yet," Gintoki chided. "Who do you think I am, Levi Ackerman? I have emotions, too, you know. I have a proposal for you, since our dearest is obviously going to spend Christmas in this dingy hospital room.

Hijikata was still quite doubtful, but he knew that Gintoki shared the same compassion that he harbors for you. Maybe he _did_ have a good idea up his booger-coated sleeves.

"Let's hear it.")

 

"Give me that," Gintoki stomps up the stepladder and tries to snatch the staple gun from Hijikata's grip. Of course, he resists the man's attempts, but one thing leads to another until the stepladder's balance gets tipped, and both of them are sent toppling to the cold floor. 

"Look what you did!" Hijikata wails, pointing at the string of lights that's been torn from the wall, the copper wire encased in the flimsy rubber making itself known.

"That's your own fault! You have the grace of a Yato! And why the hell are you using a staple gun in the first place? This could have been avoided if we just used tape!"

"The lights will fall off with tape, you dumbass!"

"It's not like we're going to be here for a month, you mega-evolved dumbass!" 

"Toushi? Gintoki?"

The two men set aside their bickering for a moment to spare you a glance. You're rubbing your eye with your good hand, since your right arm is supported by a cast. A yawn escapes your lips. "What're you guys doing?"

"Uhm, Hijikata-kun and I are just...comparing opinions on the best kind of copper wiring to use for Christmas lights, of course!" Gintoki reasons, laughing nervously as he slings an arm around Hijikata.

He returns the vigorous gesture, as if they were old drinking buddies. "We sure are!"

You stare at them, unconvinced. Then, your gaze shifts from the two idiots to a barely clad Kondo just standing next to the door. Why there's a mistletoe hanging from his testicles is beyond you. However, when you see the broken Christmas lights poorly mounted on the walls, you do the math and sigh. 

"You know you guys didn't have to do this, right?" you remind them.

"Oh, but we just want what's best for our queen," Gintoki reasons sweetly.

"Hah? You, calling me a queen? Did you hit your head while I was asleep, Gintoki?"

Hijikata grins, and it's a bit forced. Through gritted teeth, he says, "That's just his way of saying he's sorry, right, Sakata-kun?" 

"Bah, you people say that like I'm the main antagonist of this anime," he sulks. "I am always this kind."

"Stop stealing lines from other anime if you're so sure you're not an antagonist!"

"Can both of you please shut up?" You interject. "Your senseless bickering isn't contributing to my healing process."

You pinch the bridge of your nose out of vexation, but when your eyes drift back to their downcast faces, you reconsider your emotions. Though the idea of Kondo-san as a makeshift Christmas tree bothers you, you immensely appreciate these men's effort. From the looks of it, they temporarily set aside their differences just to ~~poorly~~ do this little thing for you.

With a sigh, you spread your arms. Well, arm, in this case. "C'mere, you two."

Hesitantly they walk to either side of the bed and you curl your good arm around Gintoki's neck to lock him in an embrace. You give Hijikata a look, suggesting that he'd do the same for you, since, well, you can't exactly hug him with a broken arm.

When they're as close to you as ever, you breathe in their scents—Hijikata's nicotine-laced musk and Gintoki's sweet aroma. These are the men that you've given your heart to equally; the men that you've chosen to love and loved you in return, despite having to share your affections.

"Thank you," you say with an appreciative grin.

"Merry Christmas," says ever romantic Hijikata.

Gintoki chuckles, as you let the two of them go. "You could just say that we are better at the art of putting up Christmas lights than you."

"Don't push it." 


End file.
